In my friend, I find a second self. ~Isabel Norton
I dare you to find a love as I have found. In this world there are all kinds of love and all kinds of relationships. What I have found is a love that will stand the test of time. It isn't Earth shattering, matter of fact it is quite comfortable. It is not all-consuming and it is not certainly going to be the kind of a relationship I will share with a man but it is love. I’m, of course, referring to my relationship with my best friend, Courtney or Court for short.
What can I say about her…..well, a lot actually. I can tell you her thoughts, her moods, her hopes and her dreams. I won’t always get it correct but I’ll get dang close. It doesn’t mean I won’t get on her nerves and she won’t get on mine. It definitely doesn’t mean that we don’t need our space, but that is something we can respect about each other. We can respect each other’s needs and value our differences.
This post came about because I introduced Court to someone and they expressed their wish to be loved by me as much as I loved her. I realized that I do love her and I find it hard to love a man. I couldn’t believe this has happened. What can she provide that men cannot? Why did I allow her in my heart when it is so hard to let in a male? When we were first starting out as friend it was so easy. We could laugh and joke about the bourgeois girls in our lit class. I remember our stifled laughs in the back when apparently cutting off a woman’s finger is the female equivalent of male castration. (I could certainly see the argument now though.)
Next we moved to being roommates and that was a disaster. She can’t stand that I tend to be chaotic and I couldn’t stand how she can be passive aggressive sometimes. Instead of our friendship coming to an end I embraced her for who she was and I bent to fit that part of her in my life….just as she bends for me a bit.
Now? Let’s just say yesterday we were driving down the road nearly in tears because I had just verbally abused her at a traffic light (loud enough for the car next door to hear) and she held up a scribbled note saying “HELP ME”. To some this isn’t funny but it is just hilarious to us. You have to see us in person. We’re like our own one-act show. I don’t think I could ever be this silly with a man, but I’m willing to try. I’m willing to have a guy and me go through the initial “rough period” where we misunderstand everything but keep coming back because we like the good times too much. Then we will reach this comfortable, “knowing” stage where my quirky self and his adventurous side will keep things interesting. It’s an exciting concept that I may be lucky enough to have two loves in my life. (Not counting the youngest love….he is a different story altogether.)
Oh, and for Court: “no skittles” :D
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